The clouds roll in so quickly and often unexpectedly. I can sense the change in pressure. I don't know when or where I am. Everything is changing too fast. The weight of life can be heavy.
I'm embarking on yet another move. All moves have their challenges but this one seems to be especially challenging. Maybe it's just because that's how the storm is in the moment. Only when it's passed can we see more clearly. I never thought I would be moving again so soon. My hope was that when I did move it would be further South preferably nearer to my sister-in-law. I love spending time with her! The South to me is a place full of kindness, rich in history, character and culture.
I can't help but feel as though once again I have no say in my life and I fear falling into depression. I have to hold on to the fact that these feelings will pass and that I really have no say in my life, no matter what, because I've already given my life over to God. I've been told by multiple people that I could have said no to moving to Colorado. How could I tell my husband to pass up a job promotion and moving to a place he loves? Colorado is still so foreign to me, even though I've lived there before.
Maybe it's because I just got back from a whirl wind of a trip but I'm very conflicted about the move. I just spent over a week in a hotel room everyday while my husband went to work. When I wasn't in the hotel I was searching for a home or walking to the nearby mall. I suppose I went to Colorado full of expectations even though I told myself that's not what I was gonna do. I was expecting a new home to love that my husband already picked out and put a contract on without me seeing. Let's just say it wasn't love at first site and on top of it there were big issues that came up in the inspection. I was expecting to attend a church that would water my dried up spirit. Instead I found major crowding. There are so many people in Colorado! I'm just not use to all the houses, all the traffic, all the people. It really must be a great place to live, actually I know it is. I just need to get use to it all again.
Living in Pennsylvania has been such a disappointment in regards to finding a community. I don't think I've ever been lonelier. After a series of tough job situations and endless amounts of churches we visited I guess I kinda gave up. I love my home so much but I need a community to be a part of. My husband is in Colorado until we close on our house in PA. This will be the first time we've spent a holiday apart. Hopefully it will just be Thanksgiving.
Do you have any challenging moving stories that are distant memories?